Shout out to the oh so fly Big Homie in the sky. Above. Beyond. Erywhere.
I appreciate You.
I wish I could remember to thank the Guide more often as opposed to only when my mind sees fit. I’ve definitely felt very connected this past year but I want to remember to express gratitude for the gifts I’ve been given and the lessons I’m learning not only in my joyous moments but from my time in the depths as well. I know the strength with which this new perspective has led me in the new year is a blessing and I feel the need to get my praise on. So, I do.
I believe everyone’s Walk is different. For me, it started in the Catholic Church. As I got older, I quickly learned that was not the space for me. There are some truly beautiful rituals and aspects of the service but, as I moved from adolescence to young adulthood, I began to understand what didn’t work for me and why I should leave. The rigidity, warnings of fire and brimstone, opposition to divorce, condemnation of the Kids, the list goes on. For me, the cons outweighed the pros. That's not how I wanted my relationship to be. Shout out to the community service and growing evolution of the papacy but it just wasn’t for me.
Much of what constituted “the cons,” for me at least, came from what I believed to be their interpretation of the Bible and the perspective that it was this impenetrable word of God. I think there are some beautiful lessons in the Bible about ways to live your life and how to treat those with whom you share that life but there are also some passages that give me pause. Mind you, I haven’t read the entire book through so I’d rather not speak too heavily on the text of a document that I haven’t fully ingested. Yes, I grew up in church and am familiar with a good portion of it but I know real biblical scholars and those who simply know it like their ABCs – I am neither. I’m working on it, though.
In the meantime, I will say this: It is frustrating how some, so fervent in their belief about the truth of one verse, respond to one who’s not as familiar with the source material, like myself, presenting a contrary verse in that same Bible with “You’re taking it out of context,” “You’re not looking at the big picture,” “That’s irrelevant in modern times” or a similarly dismissive and reductive phrase. If the entire book is truly God’s word, how can you pick and choose what’s written in stone and what’s disposable? Is it according to opinion? Perspective? Whose opinion? Whose perspective? How do we determine who on Earth is qualified to interpret God’s word?
Like I said, I think there is a great deal of beauty in the Bible but I do believe it is the word of man. Yes, men who were oft inspired by God but men nonetheless. As humans, we come with the Ugly as well as the Beauty. I think we have to sift through the words to try and determine what was inspired by God or a place of spiritual enlightenment, the Beauty, and what was inspired by man’s own self-serving beliefs and motives, the Ugly.
Then again, who am I to say what defines beauty and what doesn’t. There are so many spectrums in life and, as we grow, we learn to see those of both beauty and ugliness. They have several traits and characteristics, which can sometimes overlap. It’s messy. Maybe I’m over thinking it. I’m not sure.
Sometimes I wonder if it’s fear that’s prevented me from reading the Bible in its entirety. Maybe I’m afraid that it would provide some much needed clarity, or worse, even more confusion. Yet, I still I like to think of it as a guide—certainly not all of it but a great deal. Thus, it troubles me that some use a guide as a weapon. Especially a guide, one of many by the way, that’s a representation of, or at the very least in association with, Big Homie.
I’ve been shown such an abundance of grace and an indescribable amount of mercy for nearly 28 years that it’s difficult for me to believe God would use such a powerful tome to punish people for who they are, bind them into chains when their souls long for freedom, or otherwise condemn the creation for being created. Especially when, in that very same text, there are so many stories of hope and inspiration. There are so many lessons about honesty and sacrifice. There is such misery and heartache yet such wisdom and love. But, that's just me. Again, I’m a novice. I need to examine the whole picture before I delve into color and design choices.
I just have so many questions. Why are there no books written by women? Were they removed? Were they barred from submission? Are the Apocrypha for real for real? I’m glad I believe in the splendor of curiosity because, Gracious Crown, the mind can wander!
I don’t think it was necessarily curiosity that killed the cat…but if you see a bunch of folk runnin’? It might be a good idea to check your footwork. Molly… You in danger, girl.
Let me go look into some stuff…
Peace & Light.